Why Holding People Accountable isn't Personal - It's Professional

In the past, when I worked under someone else’s roof, I learned to tolerate behaviour that didn’t sit well with me. You probably know the type — clients who believe their “status” gives them a free pass, people who bend the rules because they know someone will smooth the wrinkles for them.

And back then, I did what many of us do. I swallowed it, smiled, and carried on. Because that’s what the job required.

But recently I had an experience that reminded me just how different leadership feels when you’re no longer the one holding your breath. When you step into a role where you manage the space, you set the tone, and you uphold the standards — everything changes.

Someone hired a set of rooms I manage and left them in a state that would’ve made a tornado blush. Not just a little mess — I’m talking clear disregard for the space, the rules, and the people who care for it. And then came the excuses. Not responsibility. Not ownership. Just justification.

My first reaction? Frustration. Annoyance. A deep sense of disrespect. It felt personal, even though technically it wasn’t. And that’s the moment the lesson arrived.

Leadership isn’t about suppressing emotion — it’s about separating emotion from decision.

Yes, I felt the anger. Yes, I felt the disappointment. But when I stepped back and looked at the situation objectively, one question stood out:

Would I want people who don’t respect the space to use it again?

No. And not because they annoyed me. Not because I wanted to “teach them a lesson.” But because the values of the organisation — respect, responsibility, care — matter more than the income from any single booking.

When we lead, we aren’t just protecting a space. We’re protecting a standard.

A culture.

A way of operating that sets the tone for everyone who comes after.

I realised something important:

In all those past roles where I had to bite my tongue, I wasn’t wrong for feeling the way I did — I simply didn’t have the authority to act on my values. Now I do. And with that autonomy comes a responsibility to model the standard I wish I’d seen more often.

So, I made the decision: they won’t be renting the rooms again.

Not out of emotion — out of alignment.

And sometimes that’s the real work of leadership:

Choosing the long-term integrity of the space over the short-term discomfort of saying “no.”

It’s funny how the moment we stop tolerating what we once had no choice but to tolerate… our whole sense of empowerment shifts.